Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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