I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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