Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Randomize
