I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We have started to decorate penises.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize