Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
