Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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