if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
