ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
