Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
