It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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