Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
