sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
