yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
