Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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