look no pants
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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