literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
