Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
