At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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