We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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