My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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