But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
17 year olds will be the death of me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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