at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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