Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
