Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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