Can Purell be used as lube?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
