I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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