Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
what day is it and did you see me today?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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