I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
