I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
