I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
