I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh god it's open bar.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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