i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
