awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
