Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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