Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
