sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
