I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
