he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
