We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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