Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
