Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
