So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
