So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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