Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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