I wanna bring you to show and tell
That's intense
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
