How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
