I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
