suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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