why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
