Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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